On the flip side, if I'm going to a friend's house for coffee and she says it, I always think "what disaster? It's so clean in here!" And even if there happens to be papers on the table, dishes in the sink, or laundry waiting to be folded, it almost makes me feel more welcome....if that makes sense. It's kind of like...we're close enough as friends that she feels comfortable being "real" around me.
I literally just made that connection in my head 10 minutes ago, while reading an awesome blog post that my friend Angela linked to. The post is about being a good friend. Reading through the list, number 2 jumped right out at me:
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Now, I won't use this as an excuse to keep a "hoarder" style mess around the house, but I think this is why I feel so comfortable when my friends invite me to hang out in their house "as is". They are being transparent with me, and just inviting me into their life, whatever that may look like.
I think this is also why I need to ban the title phrase from my vocabulary! This is our life. This is me. I strive to be a good housekeeper, but, like most of my other mom friends, it's hard to keep ahead of the mess sometimes. And some days? I don't even try. My friends know this, because they experience the same thing every day!
We are moms. We do laundry, wipe snot, change diapers, do dishes, sweep floors, and break up arguments almost 24 hours a day.
Sometimes we just need a small break. To drink coffee with a friend. In the mess.
There will be plenty of time to continue the other stuff later.
I just read Ann's blog today too. :-) I love watching your journey with your precious little family. So encouraging to see you doing real life.
ReplyDeleteThis is so true! I remember my cousin (who's 10 years older than me) telling me something similar when I was a teenager and her kids were young. She said she wanted her home to feel "lived in" hoped that her kids and their friends would always be comfortable to play there and be themselves. It really resonated with me then and I think about it now that I'm a parent. I remember the museum feel of some of my friends' houses and definitely don't want that for mine. I want my kids and their friends to be comfortable flopping on the couch and putting their feet on the coffee table. I want to involve my 4 year old in my baking and not worry about flour dusting the kitchen. I've seen a sign I like that says something like "Pardon the mess but people live here." That about sums it up. :)
ReplyDeletei love this post...so real! so what many of us moms need to hear and be reminded of. and i must add...having our coffees over the phone means the house could be in any state and who knows! ha ha!
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