Grandma Joan

"They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel."
If you knew my Grandma Joan, then you know that this quote spoke volumes about her. Nobody left her presence feeling guilty, judged, or put off. 
No, when you were with Grandma Joan, it was like settling into a cozy warm blanket of love with a a cup of your favourite tea.

I am not normally so poetic in my descriptions, but I can not think of any other way to describe her.  

When I was very young, she moved from Waldeim Saskatchewan to Tumbler Ridge, where we lived. We spent almost as much time at her house as we did at our own! I will always remember how excited we got when she brought out her stack of flattened brown paper bags to spread on the table. It meant she was making cookies, usually gingersnaps! When it was time to relax, she would grab a towel and her bottle of baby powder, and use it to rub our feet. She loved reflexology, and when we were having a rough day, it was her go-to therapy for us. In fact, she used touch lots. In church she would sit beside me and rub my hands. To help us sleep when we slept at her house, she would rub our earlobes. Here she is rubbing Danica's feet :)

As I grew up, we became close friends. We used to joke about how alike we were in many things. We liked our coffee the same, we both loved the same types of food, and we had similar opinions on many things.

As a new mom, I often became overwhelmed. When I get overwhelmed I tend to just shut down because I can't think about what to do next. Daniel is really good at seeing when I get to that point, and often over the years, when I have had a particularly hard night or day, he would say, "why don't you leave everything you have to do, pack up the girls, and go bring lunch to your grandma's house?" 

She lived an hour away from me, and between the drive, and visiting my Grandma for the afternoon, it was usually just what I needed to refresh my spirits and feel much better.

We would sit at her kitchen table and drink our coffee while thumbing through the latest Watkins or Regal catalogues, while the girls played with her box of toys that I had enjoyed as a child. Then she would send me home with a batch of fresh buns or cookies, and tell me to make sure I came back soon. Sometimes, she would even make the drive to my house to spend the afternoon. I will always, always cherish those days. There was never a time when I wasn't at peace around her.

She knew how to look for the good in people, and she could always find it. If she was with you, and had a positive thought about you, she didn't refrain from letting you know.

"You're such a good mom Jade"

"You know Jade, you are so beautiful!"

To my girls: "you are such a sweetheart!"

Compliments like this would often come up right in the middle of unrelated conversations. 

I don't know where I saw it, but somewhere I read that we are not called to be like other Christians; we are called to be like Christ. That was her. She loved God with all her heart, and that loved poured out onto everyone around her.

As gentle as she was, she was also feisty. When she did get mad, you could tell she was mad, but there was still a gentleness and a refrain to her demeanour. 

She had the most hilariously inappropriate sense of humour too. When I would go and visit her, she almost always had a joke or story of some sort to share...one that she heard from her friends while at aquafit, or by email usually. In fact, just today I went back into my email to look at the things she had sent me. There has got to be over 60 joke filled emails that she sent to me after she learned how to use her iPad. I remember lots of days when she would call me laughing, "did you get the email I just sent you?"

All week I have had a tug of war going on inside me. You know, the "if I had known the last time was THE last time" struggle. 

She used to make a wife saver breakfast casserole every Christmas morning. Over the past few years, due to circumstance, she either hasn't made it or I haven't been there for it. I can't remember the last time I had it, but I remember it being one of my favourite parts of Christmas!

This is the last photo I took of her. She was living at the manor in Dawson Creek, which was great because she was closer to me, and I could visit her more often. I still never felt like I was there enough though. I think I knew deep down that our time with her was growing shorter, but honestly, I thought "shorter" meant another 10 years or so. 

So the last time I visited was on her birthday, August 16. The girls and I brought her a cake, complete with candles for her to blow out. They were so excited to do that for her, and I love that my girls could get to know her as well as they did. We left like we always did...each of us giving her a kiss on her cheek, and walking away while saying "see you soon Grandma!" 

As I think of it now, I imagine running back for one long, final hug and saying, "Have the best time with Jesus Grandma, I'll see you soon."