Tuesday Top Ten...Top 10 Pieces of Parenting Advice

When you get pregnant for the first time, along with all of the "congratulations", comes a mountain of advice. It doesn't stop. Advice from everyone...new moms, grandmas, doctors, strange men (it's happened to me, yes. It had to do with breastfeeding, and I almost punched him.)

Anyway, after awhile it seems to all congeal into one big annoying piece of unwarranted advice.

BUT, I've noticed that through 6 years of it all, a few gems have really stuck with me. Here's the top ten pieces of advice that I have remembered as a Mom:

1. "You are not managing an inconvenience; you are raising a human being."- Obvious? Maybe. Then there are those days. The days that start off with the two year old flinging her cereal across the kitchen...then peeing on the floor after taking off her own poopy diaper....then starting world war 3 at nap time...then elbowing you really hard in the boob when you pick her up....and you think, "I find it really hard to believe that she's not consciously trying to break me down and make me cry." Those are the days that I find it hard to remember this little tidbit, which goes hand in hand with number 2...

2. Children don't do what you say, they do what you do- Do you ever see moms in the parking lot of walmart trying to control their kids' temper tantrum by having one of their own? I have. And, I have to admit that I have done it once or twice myself :( I love that I heard this piece of advice somewhere along the way though, because it pops into my head frequently and reminds me that I am an adult, and I am teaching my children how an adult is to handle situations. They will not grow up handling things calmly if I fail to do so when they freak out.

3. Include your children in daily activities.- I can't remember where I heard this, but I do know that the place I have noticed that it helps the most is when I'm grocery shopping! Shopping with anywhere from two to four girls can be a challenge, so I have started to try and include them wherever I can! I get Myka to hold the list, and I ask Addison and Tegan's opinion on different items. It keeps them engaged and interested, and they feel like they get "treats" because I let them pick oranges instead of apples...or let them pick the kind of crackers. A few weeks ago, a lady even noticed and commented to me on how nice it was to hear the way the kids and I were talking! Since I started doing this, grocery shopping has become much more manageable...most times :)

4. If you want "1-2-3" to work, there has to be a consequence at "3".- Ok, this one wasn't given to me, but i'm putting it out there because it's what I tell people when they ask why counting down works so well for my girls. I spank when I get to three. I've had to spank each girl maybe 4 or 5 times in their life because of it, and now counting works every time. Spanking is a whole other issue in itself, but we do it. We don't take it lightly though...we only spank when absolutely necessary and not while we're hopping mad (as IF we ever get hopping mad LOL).

5. Hold your newborns as much as you can....they will never be that size again!- I started "babywearing" with my third daughter and wish I had done it with the other two. I'm a "casual" babywearer, but I cannot express how much I enjoy the extra snuggle time with my babies before they get too big to be carried all of the time.

6. Laugh with your kids. -When was the last time you had a good rolling on the floor, tickling and laughing session with your kids? Told them a funny story or joke while you were driving? Asked them to tell you a joke? It's so worth it to work it into your busy days!

7. Say YES more often -Daniel and I read a book when we were pregnant with Addison. I don't remember many details, but the gist was that we usually say "yes" or some other affirming statement to our kids once for every 50 times we say "no", and it can have a serious effect on their self esteem. Whatever the details were of that ( i really don't remember), it hit us hard and we made a point to always try to affirm them every day in some way. **By "yes", the author didn't mean saying yes if they want a new toy all the time...it was more a general affirming as in "yes, you're beautiful, or yes, you can do anything you set your mind to" :) We fail often, and still say "no" or other corrections a lot, but the advice has always stuck :)

8. Pick your battles. -Thanks to this, and Tegan's love of picking her own outfits, I often go to town with at least one child that looks like she's about to run off to the circus. But whatev.

9. Toddlers will never starve themselves. -When Tegan was 18-24 months, I had the hardest time getting her to eat. I was so worried that she was going to lose a ton of weight and be malnourished, so I asked my doctor. His answer totally put me at ease. He said that kids that age will not let themselves starve, and that as long as I was consistently offering healthy foods, not to worry...she would eat them when she was ready. He said it's perfectly normal for a toddler to go 5 days on milk and bread...and more often than not, they'll have the occasional "binge" day in there. After that visit, I threw the feeding "schedule" out the window and relaxed.

10. Take time for yourself - Even if it's grabbing a cup of coffee and locking yourself in the bathroom for 5 minutes so you can drink it in "peace". What? Did I just say that? I have never resorted to something like that! Ahem. Baths are good too :)